by RadicalDreamer Mon Jan 18, 2016 11:38 am
"I'm squatting my sister's computer and bedroom because she's the only one left with somewhat of an internet connection. Short story : my dad didn't want the new box our internet providers wanted to send us. He got mad and wanted to quit and find a new provider. It didn't go well and we got our phone line erased and internet connection cut and since then, our former internet providers are being disorganised idiots, making our situation stagnate. Gosh, december and 2015 in general was so awful.
My parents have money problems with some rich bastards in the south, I had fights with my parents because of this (my simple opinion was to sell the apartment back to avoid a potential future financial disaster but it didn't go well and I was attacked on my current jobless and anxiety filled situation), my sister was asked by her rich boyfriend to go to Qatar to visit his father (I really really hope she won't go, if only because I hate what this country stands for behind all the economic wealth... and second, I don't want my sister to get killed or anything... though these days, she isn't any safer here in France... but at least, we have a somewhat sane government *even if I think non corrupted goverments don't exist on the planet, some are just better than others*), my dad ruined Christmas a bit for me by trying to force me to "admit I was a christian" (I'm not, I trust science more and while I do believe in the spiritual... it's more akin to believing in the lifestream from FF7 or some concept like that *honestly, I think we'll ultimatelly be able to explain the mystical with science one day, as we did with explaining dark matter and air*... a spiritual plane with no god that recycle "souls"... in short, not christian) and the far right getting popular and current situation is terrible (didn't hear tumblr get upset over it but... many women were massively sexually assaulted in Europe... but maybe Tumblr doesn't talk about it because the culprits were mostly north africans who were resentful of syrian refugees being privileged as asylum seekers in Germany... something similar happened in sweden during a concert... except Sweden kept it quiet because of the syrian situation and current political climate... which is both understandable for the syrians and terribly unfair for the rape victims... of course, this isn't the only thing, all the terrorist stuff isn't done, unfortunately... in my country or everywhere else in the world).
When I saw my psy a while back, I was so depressed and she was so aggressive in wanting me to snap out of it that I just told her I was afraid to not survive the next few months/years.
And now, 2016 is here, we managed to obtain a temporary and unstable internet connection that only works in my sister's bedroom (but our adventures to get our real connection and phone line is still ongoing... really, I would laugh if it wasn't so maddening)... and I learned Bowie and Rickman both died of cancer at the exact same age (on top of losing 2/3 famous people in France already).
Good start, 2016.
Oh well, the good news is, I'm in a creative and less depressed mood these days, though I had severe anxiety symptoms coming back lately because of my recently reversed sleeping pattern... but I had worse in august/september so I hope the symptoms will go away quicker instead of getting worse. I have good hopes it won't get as bad again. And I'm actively searching for a job."
